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“I’m in therapy and nothing is happening” – a letter to Salon worth reading

August 3, 2011

Does this sounds familiar – from both the client side and the therapist side:

I’ve been seeing her for the last nine months or so and I don’t quite get it. She’s nice to talk to, but I don’t feel like I am any different than I was last fall when I first went to see her. I’ve brought this up with her multiple times. She came to therapy later in life, but she is certified, and I don’t want to discriminate against her for not knowing she wanted to be a therapist straight out of school; if anything, the fact that she went through a major revision of what she wanted to do with life seems to her credit.
And yet. I lack a clear understanding of what I am supposed to be getting out of this. I face our meetings with mild dread, as I’ve never been good at talking about myself. One of the main issues I’d like to tackle is my struggle to get close to people. I rarely open up to anyone, but my work in communications means that I’m a champ at coasting along on superficial conversation. Guess what! I do that with my therapist, too. And she doesn’t push back, not hard enough.


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