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Steering a relationship through mid-life crisis

August 7, 2009

I have just read a brilliant article on The New York Time website by Laura A. Munson in which she describes a crisis in her marriage:

The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.

Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.

Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out.

Her response to this provocative set of statements was a surprise to her husband and exasperating to her friends, and most certainly a stroke of clear-sighted genius. I thoroughly recommend reading the short article.

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